The Lion Sleeps Tonight – The Hippo and “That” Dog

The Lion Sleeps Tonight – The Hippo and “That” Dog

The Lion Sleeps Tonight - The Hippo and

Pat and Stan is a French animated show that appears as part of the children’s television programme TFou on the French network TF1. Animated by Pierre Coffin, Pat the hippopotamus and Stan the dog have appeared in 362 short episodes as well as the 26 minute movie Pat et Stanley: Le Trésor de Pit et Mortimer (Pat and Stanley: The Treasure of Pit and Mortimer, 2006). Outside of France, the duo are most famous for the short clip in which Pat is seen singing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight.” The clip appeared in Italy in a commercial by Ferrero’s Kinder chocolates; they also produced a “Happy Hippo” shaped chocolate snack. They also appear re-voiced in English on The CW4Kids in the United States, and under two Dutch versions on Jetix in the Netherlands, and on Ketnet in Flanders. Pat and Stanley are now featured in many unofficial online videos singing English (as well as international) songs.

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Things That Make You Go “Hmmm….”

One tequila

Two tequila

Three tequila

FLOOR

Things That Make You Go Hmmm....One tequila Two tequila Three tequilaFLOOR

Things That Make You Go “Hmmm….”

 

When life gives you lemons ask for a bottle of Tequila and some salt.

When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

I miss my ex….  but my aim is getting better.

Remember – Keep Smiling!

It makes people wonder what you’re up to!

 

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Adam And God

Adam And God

Adam And God

God said, ‘Adam, I Want you to do Something for Me.’
Adam said, ‘Gladly, Lord, what do You Want me to do?’

God said, ‘Go down Into that valley.’
Adam said, ‘What’s a Valley?’

God explained it to Him. Then God said, ‘Cross the river.’
Adam said, ‘What’s a River?’

God explained that To him, and then said, ‘Go over to the hill….’
Adam said, ‘What is a Hill?’

So, God explained to Adam what a hill was…
He told Adam, ‘On The other side of the Hill you will find a Cave.’

Adam said, ‘What’s a Cave?’
After God explained, He said, ‘In the cave You will find a woman.’

Adam said, ‘What’s a Woman?’
So God explained That to him, too.

Then, God said, ‘I Want you to Reproduce..’
Adam said, ‘How do I do that?’

God first said (under His breath), ‘Gee…..’

And then, just like Everything else, God Explained that to Adam, as well.

So, Adam goes down Into the valley,
Across the river, and Over the hill, into the Cave, and finds the Woman.

Then, in about five Minutes, he was back.

God, His patience Wearing thin, said Angrily, ‘What is it Now?’

And Adam said….

‘What’s a headache?’

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Bottle Of Wine

Bottle Of Wine

Bottle Of Wine

Mary was driving home from the supermarket in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.
As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.
With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.
Resuming the journey, Mary tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman.
The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Mary.

‘What in bag?’ asked the old woman.
Mary looked down at the brown bag and said,
‘It’s a bottle of wine.
I got it for my husband.’
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two.
Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said:

‘Good trade’

Picture Source: http://www.art.com/products/p12848693741-sa-i989249/navajo-woman.htm

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An Irishman Walks Into A Bar In Dublin

An Irishman Walks Into A Bar In Dublin

An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin

and orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
When he finished all three, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender says to him,
“You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time.”
The Irishman replies,
“Well, you see, I have two brothers.
One is in America, the other in Australia, and I’m here in Dublin.
When we all left home, we promised that we’d drink this way to remember the days we all drank together.”
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar and always drinks the same way: he orders three pints and drinks the three pints by taking drinks from each of them in turn.
One day, he comes in and orders two pints.
All the other regulars in the bar notice and fall silent.
When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says,
“I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss.”
The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs.

“Oh, no,” he says, “Everyone is fine. It’s me…”

“I’ve quit drinking!”

Picture Source: http://www.galwayhouse.net/content/

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An English Lawyer And A Scotsman

An English Lawyer And A Scotsman

An English lawyer and an Scotsman

are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
The lawyer is thinking that Scotsmen are so dumb that he could put something over on them easily.

So the lawyer asks if the Scotsman would like to play a fun game.The Scotsman is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.
The English lawyer persists, and says that the game is a lot of fun.
I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me only £5;
you ask me one, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you £500, he says.
This catches the Scotsman’s attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.The lawyer asks the first question.
‘What’s the distance from The Earth to the Moon?’
The Scotsman doesn’t say a word, reaches in his pocket pulls out a five-pound note, and hands it to the lawyer.Now, it’s the Scotsman’s turn.
He asks the lawyer,
‘What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?’
The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he could find on the Net.
He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail.
After one hour of searching he finally gives up.
He wakes up the Scotsman and hands him £500.
The Scotsman pockets the £500 and goes right back to sleep.The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer.
He wakes the Scotsman up and asks,
‘Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?’The Scotsman reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer £5 and goes back to sleep.
Don’t mess with the Scots.

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