Category Archives: Jokes and Funnies
Four’N Twenty Legendary Angus
Four’N Twenty Legendary Angus
Speak English Please
Speak English Please
Scottish Lift Voice Activated
Scottish Lift Voice Activated
Tesco Everyday Value Beefburgers Contained 29 Per Cent Horse Meat
Picture source: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-iJZvVyHmzQs/UPfPJdrQx2I/AAAAAAAAPE4/jBc9Xyw6azI/s1600/untitled.png
Tesco Everyday Value Beefburgers Contained 29 Per Cent Horse Meat
I went to a Tesco café yesterday and ordered a burger. They asked me if I wanted anything on it, and I said: ‘Yes — a fiver each way.’
Does anyone have a tooth pick? I had a Tesco burger last night and there’s still a bit between my teeth.
My daughter has always wanted a pony, so I’m buying her a Tesco Quarter Pounder for her birthday.
I’ve got some Tesco burgers in the fridge. But . . . THEY’RE OFFFFFFFFF!
My doctor told me to watch what I eat, so I went out and bought tickets for the Grand National.
If you think horse meat’s bad, wait until you try Tesco’s veggie burgers. They’re made of genuine uniQuorn.
Scientist: ‘Sir, we’ve discovered horse meat in your burgers.’
Tesco boss: ‘Why the long face?’
I won’t eat Tesco burgers. They may be low in fat, but they have a very high Shergar content.
Tesco are giving treble points on your Clubcard for all burgers and petrol, starting today. The deal’s called Only Fuel and Horses.
They’ve found horse meat in Tesco burgers? It’s an unbridled disaster.
A Tesco burger walks into a bar. ‘A pint please.’
‘I can’t hear you,’ says the barman.
‘Sorry’ replies the burger. ‘I’m a little bit horse.’
I selected some burgers on the Tesco website. And then clicked ‘Add to cart.’
What do you call a burnt Tesco burger? Black Beauty
Picture Source: http://bluebuddies.com/MsgPics/001963-Black_Beauty.jp
Jessica Rabbit – Why don’t you do right
Jessica Rabbit – Why don’t you do right
Jessica Rabbit is Roger Rabbit‘s human Toon wife and the tritagonist in Touchstone’s 1988 film Who Framed Roger Rabbit. In the book, she was an amoral, up-and-coming star and former comic character, over whom her estranged husband, comic strip star Roger Rabbit, obsessed. She is re-imagined in the film as a sultry, but moral cartoon singer at a Los Angeles supper club called the “Ink and Paint Club”. Here, she is one of several suspects in the framing of her husband, who is a famous cartoon star. She is voiced byKathleen Turner. Amy Irving was cast to sing Peggy Lee’s “Why Don’t You Do Right” for Jessica’s first scene in the movie.
Several attractive Toon females (specifically Betty Boop) apparently consider Jessica to be incredibly lucky to be married to Roger.
Jessica Rabbit is beautiful, passionate, sexy and glamourous. She is slender and fair-skinned. She has blue eyes, red pouty lips, purple eyelids, long red hair that covers her right eye, aqua earrings, long purple opera gloves, and shiny red pumps. She claims to Eddie Valiant, “I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way.” She adores her husband Roger, and claims she married him because he “makes her laugh.”
Jessica is first seen from behind the stage curtains at the Ink & Paint Club, singing “Why Don’t You Do Right?” After her show, followed byEddie Valiant, the Toon-hating detective, Marvin Acme, both ruler ofToontown and founder of the Acme Corporation, enters Jessica Rabbit’s dressing room and informs her that she sure absolutely, truly, and honestly murdered the audience one night, and he really means it. Then, he says that she was superb while Eddie tries to peer through the keyhole to see what’s going on, but he was thrown outside into a pile of trash by Bongo the tuxedoed gorrila. When he hears Jessica and Marvin talking through one of the nearby windows, he pulls up a box and peers through a gap in the curtains. Marvin insists Jessica to play pattycake with him on her bed, but Jessica replies that she has a headache. However, Marvin says that she promised, then convinces her to do it, and she agrees, but she tells him to take off his handbuzzer. While they play pattycake together, Eddie pulls out a camera and takes several pictures by order of R.K. Maroon, owner of Maroon Cartoons. Later, after Roger Rabbit, Jessica’s husband, crashes through the studio office window, leaving a rabbit-shaped hole in the glass and the blinds, and walks across the road at the Acme factory, crying his eyes out, he pulls out his wallet and looks at his photos of him and Jessica on their wedding day, their honeymoon on a beach, and hugging each other in a bar.
Read More: http://disney.wikia.com/wiki/Jessica_Rabbit
Got a request?
Want a song dedicated to you?
Please Contact Us with the song and artist you like, the name you want published and we will do our best to find it.
Nicknames are fine but nothing rude, please.
BUSTED. No Nanny it wasn’t me in your pot plants
BUSTED. No Nanny it wasn’t me in your pot plants
Hi, I’m Max.
I am a Mini Foxy Jack Russell cross. Even though I try to be good it’s pretty hard to hide the evidence when when your a light dog in a garden full of dark dirt.
Lucy for me I have these eyes.
Breed History:
Although the origins of the breed are English, the breed was developed in and is endemic to Australia. It is akin to the Toy Fox Terrier, a breed that developed along similar lines in the United States. Some Toy Fox Terrier owners can trace their dogs’ pedigrees to “Foiler”, the first Fox Terrier registered by the Kennel Club in Britain, circa 1875-6, and although to date no such credentials have turned up for Miniature Fox Terriers in Australia, the similarities between the two breeds support the idea that they had the same source, British fox terriers of the 19th Century. They are not alone in this; other related breeds include the Jack Russell Terrier, the Rat Terrier, and the Tenterfield Terrier. Miniature Fox Terriers most likely originated when smaller fox terrier types were crossed with Manchester Terriers, and, later, to other toy breeds such as the English Toy Terrier. Hunters were seeking a smaller, speedy fox terrier that could be used for hunting smaller pests such as rats and rabbits. Such dogs were brought to Australia by settlers; one MFCA breeder can trace the breeding of Mini Fox Terriers by her family back to the days of settlement. By the late 1800s, the breed type was clearly identifiable, where the Little Fox Terrier proved its worth against rabbits, rats, and snakes on Australian farms. The mortality rate of these little dogs must have been extremely high and it is a tribute to their hardiness that the breed survived. Miniature Fox Terriers demonstrated tenacity, endurance, and extreme loyalty to their owners; the dogs were routinely taken on the hunt, were sometimes used in search parties, and were used at Sydney’s North Head Quarantine Station as vermin exterminators.
Read More: www.minifoxie.org
Gear for Your Furry Friend at Pasgroup – Pets
Price Tags…Yes It Matters Where You Put Them
Image
Price Tags…Yes It Matters Where You Put Them
Cooking Your Dog
Little Ho On The Prairie
Urine Ear Drops
We All Sin Together
Anal Fantasy
Didn’t I F*** You Yesterday
Poo Paradise
Butt Closure
Be Gay
Winnie The Pooh
Price Tags….Yes It Matters Where You Put Them Source:
For Heaps More Funnies visit our Website: http://www.pasgroup.com/coffeebreak.html
Life Is A Bitch Quotes
Life is all about ASS
You’re either married to an ASS
Divorced from an ASS or trying to forget an ASS.
Your either working your ASS off,
Sweating your ASS off,
Laughing your ASS off,
Kicking ASS,
Kissing ASS,
Spanking ASS,
Hauling ASS,
Wiping ASS,
Busting ASS,
Trying to get a piece of ASS,
Or You Are An ASS.
Life Is A Bitch Quotes
Image Source: http://media2.inktastic.com/thumbnails/70387.png
For Heaps More Funnies visit our Website: http://www.pasgroup.com/coffeebreak.html
Clean Sex Quotes
“I believe sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can Buy”
Tom Clancy
**********
“You know “that look” women get when they want sex? Me neither
Steve Martin
**********
“Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand”
Woody Allen
**********
“Bisexuaity immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night”
Rodney Dangerfield
**********
“My girlfriend always laughs during sex — no matter what she’s reading”
Steve Jobs [Founder, Apple Computers]
**********
“My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch”
Jack Nicholson
**********
“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place”
Billy Crystal
**********
“According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgemental, where, of course, men are just grateful”
Robert De Niro
**********
“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house”
Rod Stewart
**********
“See the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time”
Robin Williams
**********
Saving
The
Best
Clean Sex Quotes
For Last
“Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope”
George Burns
Today Is The Oldest You’ve Ever Been, Yet The Youngest You’ll Ever Be. ENJOY
For more funnies visit our Website: http://www.pasgroup.com/coffeebreak.html