Coffee Break 4

Three Men Die And Go To Heaven

At the gate St. Peter tells them, "Before you go into heaven, we are going to give you each a vehicle with which to get around.
The way we determine what type of vehicle you will get is by how faithful you were to your wives.
Now," he says, turning to the first man, "were you true to your wife?"
"Yes, I was, St. Peter," says the first man.
"I never strayed. From the day I married her to the day I died, I slept with no woman other than my wife. I loved her very deeply."
"As reward for your complete fidelity," says St. Peter, "I now give you these keys to a beautiful Rolls-Royce."
The man happily accepts the keys, and St. Peter turns to the second man.
"Sir," he says, "were you faithful to you wife?"
"Well, St. Peter," says the second man a little shyly, "I must admit that when I was much younger, I did stray once or twice.
But I did love my wife very much, and after those minor indiscretions, I was completely faithful until my dying day."
St. Peter looks down at the man and says, "As a reward for good marital conduct, I am giving you these keys to a Pontiac."
As the man takes the keys from his St. Peter turns to the third man.
"Sir," he says, "were you faithful to you wife?"
"St. Peter," says s the man, "I made love to everything I could, every chance I got.
There wasn't a week of my marriage that I didn't sleep with someone other than, wife.
But I must admit to you, St. Peter, that it was a problem I had, because I really did love my wife very much."
"Well," says St. Peter, "we do know that you did love your wife and that does count for something, so this is what you get."
With that he rolls out a ten-speed bicycle and gives it to the man.
The gates of heaven open, and the three men enter.
Sometime later the man on the bicycle is riding along, when he sees that the man with the Rolls Royce has pulled over and is sitting on the bumper of his car.
He is sobbing uncontrollably.
The man pulls his bicycle up next to the man and says, "Hey, pal, what's the matter? What could possibility be wrong? You have a beautiful Rolls Royce to drive around in?"

"I know," says the man through his sobs, "but I just saw my wife on roller skates!"

Holmes And Watson

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip.
As they lay down for the night, Holmes said: "Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see".
Watson said "I see millions and millions of stars".
Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"
Watson: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What does it tell you?"

Holmes: "Somebody stole our tent."
Home Button