Coffee Break 13

Mr. Stewart's Wife

In the back woods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery.
To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing."
Soon, a wee baby boy was brought into the world. "Whoa there Scotty!" said the doctor. "Don't be in a rush to put the lantern down...I think there's yet another wee one to come."
Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered another little baby. "No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern, young man...It seems there's yet another one besides!" cried the doctor.
The new father scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor. "Do ye think it's the light that's attractin' them?"


Computer Dating Gone Bad!

After only six months of marriage, the unhappy wife made an appointment with a divorce lawyer.
"We met through a computer dating service," she said between sobs,
"For the life of me, I'll never understand what that machine saw in him."

Computer Dating


The Lazy Student

A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.
"I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes.
"I mean..." she whispers, "...I would do...anything!!!"
He returns her gaze.
"Anything???" "Yes,... Anything!!!"

His voice turns to a whisper. "Would"

Angry Girl


Poor Mr. Humphrey

A man identified only as Mr. Humphrey jumped off a 7-story riverside parking garage in Norwich, England.
According to friends, Mr. Humphrey had "a passion" for jumping off bridges and other high places.
Pacing along a ledge before he jumped, he called down to police officers to ask how deep the water was.
Apparently, he didn't hear the answer:

Three feet...

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