Coffee Break 1

Young Love

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.
The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot.
I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night.
We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out, and I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that.
Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack."
The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents.
He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree.
He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes.
The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person."
He leans over to her and says, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."

Be Careful What You Wish For


A man was walking along a California beach when he noticed something sticking out of the sand.
He pulled it out and saw that it was a heavy, jewel-encrusted bottle.
As he brushed away the sand, the bottle began to shake and emit clouds of coloured smoke and the....POOF!
A genie appeared. The genie said, "All right dude, you know the routine.
What are your three wishes?"
The guy thought about it for a bit and then said, "I have always wanted to go to Hawaii but I am afraid to fly or ride on a boat.
So for my first wish , I want a highway from here to Hawaii."
"That is next to impossible. The time , resources and energy required for such a wish would leave me drained for thousands of years," said the genie.
"Isn't there anything else that you would like, maybe even more wishes, money, fame, glory, vast amounts of property, yadda, yadda, yadda????
The man thought for some time and then said, "Well, I have always wanted to understand women."
The ginie sighed and then replied,

"So about that highway. Do you want two lanes or four?"

Children - Gotta Love Em

A teacher in 1st grade decided to teach the children of her class about the senses, touch, smell and taste.
The first day she brings to school pine cones, stones, sandpaper etc.
She puts the items in a box with a hole in the side, and lets the children reach in, touch and tell what the item was.
All got them right. Next day she brought a rose, an onion and an apple.
She blindfolded the children and had each to smell the items, all got them right.
The next day on the way to school she stopped at the store and bought some lifesavers candy.
At school she had the children close their eyes and she placed a cherry flavour life saver in their mouth, and asked them what it was.
All said cherry. Next she gave them strawberry, and all got it right.
Then orange, all got it right.
Last she gave them honey flavour.
She asked them the flavour, then seeing the puzzled look on their faces said it's something your mother calls your father sometimes at home.

A little boy in back of room jumps up and hollers, quick spit them out their assholes.
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